When meat and alcohol are your entire personalities

The Stammering Dunce
3 min readJul 27, 2023

Also published on Wordpress.

If you are a fervent Reddit user or you are a currently devoted Smosh viewer, you would have heard a story of a woman who disrespected her daughter’s wish of a vegan and sober wedding by creating an alternative party, where meat and alcohol are served; she argued the extended family felt the meat and alcohol-free wedding would not just be boring, it also wouldn’t be a “true representation of who they are”.

The majority of redditors agreed she was an asshole. As someone who found this story from a Smosh video, I also noticed the majority of viewers shared the same sentiment. The majority.

Of course, there are the tiny minority that sticks out like an infected, pus-ridden thumb which I stumbled upon.

They made arguments that are definitely and certainly not predictable: they need alcohol to have fun and calm their nerves and they feel not having their meat craving catered to is discriminatory.

Yeah, bunch of bullshits.

If you need alcohol to have fun, you are boring. I mean, if you need to be stimulated by a literal addictive substance in order to be fun, you admit that you inherently have nothing interesting to offer.

And how can you be certain you have more fun when you barely have any recollections of it?

While I have never met drunkards, I have heard anecdotes about them: drunkards are only charming and funny to other drunkards; for the sober ones, they are just unappealing or even downright repulsive.

If you need alcohol to calm your nerves, you have an issue. You suffer from some kind of emotional disorder… and yet, instead of asking for a professional help, you are self-medicating; don’t act like your doctor prescribes you alcohol.

And here’s the thing about us, meat eaters: Nobody forces us to eat meat at every single goddamn meal.

We don’t have any medical, religious and moral reasons to do so. If we skip meat for one or a few meals, we wouldn’t put our health in danger and break any of our principles. We would be just fine, both figuratively and literally.

We eat meat not because of any obligations, we eat meat because we feel entitled to.

If you think forcing vegans to serve non-vegan foods is morally justified, then how do you feel about forcing practicing Muslims and Jews to serve pork or forcing Hindus to serve beef?

If you think that is also morally justified, then you are a hopeless cunt. But, if you think it isn’t, then why?

Why do you think one is okay while the other isn’t? Why do you think religious dietary restrictions are something to be respected while non-religious ones aren’t? What’s with the selectiveness?



Yeah, I know. The vegan and abstinent crowds have their share of combative and holier-than-thou pricks. But, it gets to the point where not only we stereotype every single vegan and sober person as such, we get offended by their mere existence….

… And we end up embracing alcohol and meat as our entire personalities, embracing combativeness and self-righteousness which we accuse vegans and sober people of.






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